My Second Marriage Is Compensation From God - Nollywood Actress Foluke Daramola

For actress Foluke Daramola, getting married again is the least she expected, especially after her first highly publicized wedding to Mr Sobowale crashed. But penultimate week theactress said, “Yes, I do” to Mr Salako, an educationist and businessman. If you ask Foluke to describe it, she would say the second marriage is compensation for all she had lost.

She paid SAMUEL OLATUNJI a visit and spoke about her new marriage, new love, including her plans to have another baby. Most importantly, she vehemently denied that she was responsible for the break-up of Pastor Salako’s first marriage. Excerpts…

Congratulations on your wedding, I saw on your BB where you wrote “thank God for this second chance”. Are you truly grateful for this?

I believe this marriage is compensation from God for all I had lost in years past. I am truly grateful.

What was going through your mind on the wedding day?

A whole lot; nostalgic feelings; the fears came and went when he asked me to marry him. At that time I was just looking at myself and I wondered what I did to deserve this, and I was trying my possible best to keep it as quiet as possible, but the paparazzi would not just let me be. So, I was just wondering that I have to stop acting for a while, and I’m still trying to get back to doing something, but what I wanted mostly was some privacy. So, I looked at it again and it’s like I have seen everybody again, then the paparazzi came and I felt really young again. I guess I am grateful to God for everything.

Would it be right to say you are happy?

I’m exceptionally happy. And like I had always said, I made my mistakes in my past marriage, and my partner made his. Part of the mistakes was that I was in a hurry to get married, that was a mistake and I wasn’t mature. We really didn’t know each other, the relationship was very short. But in this case, I didn’t really plan to get married again. I told myself I’m not getting married anymore and I even made that public, everybody knew that Foluke was definitely not interested in getting married again. So, when we started out for a year or so, we decided to get married. When it was becoming obvious that we were going to get married, it was more like the icing on the cake. My husband is my soul mate, my best friend, my sibling and everything. What I saw in him is beyond financial or any other thing. I just saw that this is a friend and someone who genuinely cared about me. He is treating me special, buying me gifts, and wanting to get married to me was exceptional. It was like I was at the climax of my joy, it was like I couldn’t be happier wearing his ring, and it’s not just about wearing his ring. The fact that you are wearing the ring of someone you love so much and see him go out in the morning to work and you guys are in love and happy, that makes me feel really happy.

What is the assurance this won’t be like the first?

We are attracted emotionally to each other, but we both needed spiritual connection, which we didn’t hesitate to find out all the way. My mum went out to pray about it with men of God. I also went out to pray and fasted over it. He did the same also. He had a past; I have mine, so the two of us coming together is like we don’t have a choice than to make it work for both of us. If you have noticed, both our families, all the family members were involved, which is unusual. Normally, you find one or two family members saying one thing or the other, but in this case, everybody, my father-in-law, my brothers, my brothers and sisters-in-law, everybody, including my uncle and parents were positive. So, at the end of the day you find that God is actually telling us something, so I needed that spiritual conviction.

The first time, not that I didn’t need the spiritual conviction, but then I wasn’t in a hurry, everything the people told me was like let us do it. But when I was about getting married, I had this strong heartbeat, it was very strong, but I looked at it and said maybe it’s maturity, I know it is maturity. I guess it’s just peace of mind. There is a difference between infatuation and love, this you may not know when you are young. Now, I know am in love with the right person, my mind is at peace. We have our fights, we have our quarrels, but we understand we are both in something that has to work.

Your children, where are they?

They are with me.

I am sure you have seen the publication that Foluke Daramola broke pastor’s home. Are you truly responsible for the marriage break-up?

I mentioned something earlier; I said I didn’t plan to marry Kayode Salako. I was out to do his job. We started out on a project, which was Change Agent of Nigeria Network. But I discovered we shared a whole lot in common. Obviously, he’s been having issues in his marital home, but for whatever reason I don’t know. Now, I was discussing with somebody and like I said earlier, it has to be exceptional because we hardly find such cases where people from two different backgrounds come together and every family member are present at the event. My father-in-law, my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, even the people we told, because everything we planned was within 10 days. Kayode just wanted to give me an engagement ring but his elder sister, an event planner, said okay, you guys can actually do it like an engagement party. And we started in 10 days, we told people as far away as Ife and Igbajo and they all came together within the 10 days. That should tell you that something was definitely wrong somewhere, and not the issue of Foluke Daramola, because if I had tricked my husband like someone has been saying, every member of our families would not have been at the event.

Two, when my husband’s ex left four days after, from what he told me and from what I saw, her lawyer wrote him a letter of divorce that they should share the properties, that really doesn’t sound like it was from me. So, obviously they had their reasons for deciding to break up, maybe it was spiritual or whatever. I absolutely didn’t have anything to do with it.

Did you ever talk with his ex?

No. Only time I met her was at Shoprite and it was a cordial meeting because we had nothing between us then.

Was it before or after?

She was in the house then, she greeted me and I responded; that was the only time I met her.

And she never accused you of anything?

Nothing of the sort; it was just hello, hi and he said this is my wife and I greeted her properly.

Were you dating Mr. Salako while his ex was still in the house?

I was having a business relationship with Mr. Salako before the woman left. I was having this Change Agent of Nigeria Limited business relationship with him. Even though we were very close, he told me he had already told his wife he had a business relationship with me. Obviously, maybe it was a case of when two people, a man and a woman, work together they might find each other attractive. But aside the business relationship, nothing else was involved.

Do you think if you didn’t appear on the scene Mr. Salako would have tried to save his marriage?

Kayode tried everything in the book to make the marriage work. Even when the wife left, he tried again. He told me he needed time to sort himself out and I gave him time. He was out of the country for some time. He was trying to appeal to his wife; trying to get her to come back to the house. Kayode is an emotional person; he is highly emotional and loves his kids. And there is this Yoruba proverb that says, “Take good care of your wife and love your kids.” So, at the end of the day it’s only one person that is fortunate about his kids and he is even fortunate about someone else’s kids. Actually, when I came back, like everyone else, he obviously needed a shoulder to lean on and I provided that shoulder and things started.

Were the children involved in the wedding?

No, because the kids are with his ex.

Is he properly divorced?

No, he’s not. Proper divorce is a process; you know in Nigeria, one process might take about a year or two. I’m the one that is properly divorced now, he is not properly divorced.

So, what did you do after the traditional marriage?

We didn’t do the whole thing; we had the traditional marriage blessing.

Somebody said you needed someone to bear your financial burden?

If I had needed someone to bear my burden financially, Kayode is very comfortable, he is okay, but it’s not like he is rich. If it was for financial gain, Kayode would have been the least person I would have considered because I had other options that are more financially buoyant. They include politicians and businessmen, but that is not what I need. Most importantly, I needed companionship. And really, if you marry any man who cannot take care of your financial burden, then what is the essence of marrying that person? Even if I start taking care of my own financial needs, at the end of the day people or the guy would ask me what he is there for, is he there as a figure head? So, even if he pays my bills, I wouldn’t feel flattered as a woman that my man is taking care of my bills.

Are you still in touch with your ex-husband?

No. There is no animosity, no bitterness, but I guess he should be fine. I’m no longer interested in him.

Does he not ask after his two children?

That is his concern; maybe they don’t exist for him. Thank God my husband has adopted them. He sees them as his kids and now he has five kids and takes care of their upkeep.

Would you have more children?

Obviously, every man would want to have his own kids and where there is love, you want something that will epitomise what you both share.

When should we expect it?

Well, we are taking our time; there is no hurry about it.